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My First Casting Call
by Valerie (Angel of Music)

Let me tell you about my experience with the Torrid 2007 Model Search in Redondo Beach, CA on October 27, 2007. At first you're probably just trying to process Valerie and Model Search in the same thought. I know where you're coming from. Me? Shy, quiet, bad stage-fright, no self-esteem me? Yup. How did this all come about, you wonder. Well, here's my story.

The past few years, I have gotten more and more interested in fashion and clothes. Honestly, a few years ago I really couldn't have cared less. Now I'm taking more notes. America's Next Top Model is one of my favorite shows, and if I were 60 pounds lighter (and younger) I'd audition. Alas, I am too short for their requirements, not to mention a few years too old. Anyways. Few people know that as a kid I'd watch the modeling section of Star Search and practice the moves in my room and the bathtub. Actually, maybe no one else knew. Now they do! I'd never really considered being a model, as I'd never really been told I was beautiful and my body sure doesn't meet the standards of the fashion world.

One day I was visiting torrid.com (a plus-sized store that has the cutest clothes), and I saw an advertisement about their 2007 model search. They rotate cities each year, and it happened that this year they were coming to Redondo Beach, about an hour from where I live. (I didn't realize Torrid is based out of City of Industry, near L.A. Possibilities in other areas, maybe?) Another amusing point is that the prior city was Orlando (where I used to live), and a girl I used to work with at Disney is a top-ten finalist! So, back to the story. I immediately thought of my friend Shar, who had been stopped one time before by someone asking her if she were interested in modeling. Then I thought of my friend Kia, who's obsessed with ANTM and wants to be a model/actress. I mulled the idea over for a while. What did I really have to lose? Torrid has awesome clothes, and wouldn't it be fun to try out? At that point, it was just a passing thought, not anything I was really taking seriously at that point.

So over the next week, I talked to Shar and Kia and they agreed to go with me. We were all pretty excited. I just thought it would be something fun and different to do with my friends. Plus, it would give me a great experience if I ever decided to go to casting calls, etc. I'm not sure what sparked my desire to do this, but as it drew closer, I really found myself looking forward to it. Then about a week before the Model Search, both came to me and dropped out. One had a major dentist appointment that had to be that Saturday, and the other had a commitment that she couldn't get out of. Now, I don't know if these had been made before or after my plans or if they just forgot, but it happened. My husband was going to be busy that day, as was my mom. No one else was free to go. I can't say I wasn't disappointed, but this gave me the chance to stand on my own.

At first I really wasn't sure if I'd go through with it. I remember vacillating all week and asking several people if I should do it. Now that it was all about me, I began to chicken out. What was I doing? I'm super shy, so who would I talk to? And I have the worst self-confidence in the world. Me get up in front of everyone? Who was I kidding? These days I tend to think of myself as the ugly fat girl, so how on earth could I be a model? More importantly, who would even want me as a model? Plus I have zero experience, so I was sure they'd want more seasoned people (even though the website said you didn't need experience or headshots.) And wasn't I too old to be starting this? (Even though people say I look about 8 or 9 years younger than I really am.) Then I'd go back to all the good things that could come from it. Plus, if I went into it with no expectations, then I wouldn't be disappointed when it didn't work out.

I honestly didn't even know if I'd go until the day I woke up for the event. I'd picked out a super cute outfit the night before, making the best use of my Torrid wardrobe as well. I was going to dye my light red hair a shade of vibrant red for my Ginny Weasley character for Halloween a few days away, so I figured what the hell and just dyed it in time for the model search. Well, I woke up the next morning, and it was super red! It was a bit of a shock, but I liked it. (The color's grown on me.) I figured, with my hair reaching almost to my butt and being bright red, I'd definitely stand out! I'd lightly curled it the night before and it came out fabulous the next morning. I only got about 3 hours of sleep, what with the preparations and then getting up early to get there at a reasonable time. I was still coughing at the time (yippee for bronchitis; not!) so I gathered all my Kleenex, cough drops, inhaler, cold and cough meds, plus snacks and water, a sketchbook and a book to bring with me.

When I woke up, I thought what do I have to lose? So I got up and made the decision to do this thing on my own. The event started at 10. I figured there was no way I'd be one of the first 100 for the goody bags, but I still didn't want to miss anything. I was shooting to be out by 7:30, but not having gotten to sleep until 3:30 AM. I woke up later. I ended up getting there at 8:45 AM. I had never been to the South Bay Galleria, and I'd only been to Redondo Beach one other time for a family reunion. The fact that I made it in good time and didn't get lost was a good milestone for me. There were already tons of people in line. I figure, maybe at least 100 or 150? Not too sure. When I was walking up, I could feel a lot of the girls staring at me, as if to size up the competition. I just threw back my shoulders and kept my head up and walked very confidently to the end of the line. I was a bit surprised at myself, but it made me feel good inside.

I reached the end of the line and set my very heavy bag down. It was probably overkill, but being alone and not knowing how long I would be standing in line, I wanted to be prepared. Someone near me had made a comment, so we all just started talking. All the other girls were super cool, and we laughed and talked the whole time we were in line. Mostly we talked about Torrid and their clothes, but we also speculated about what was inside (for the line was outside the mall at that point). We had to fill out an application and a survey during this time, but it was great to bond with other people with similar interests. The fact that I was being outgoing and making conversation was a pretty big thing for me, since I still freeze up and get really quiet in new situations. Overall, I think we were in line for almost 2 hours.

When we got closer to the door, we saw that Power 106 was broadcasting outside. Inside, they had their own DJ rockin' out the music. When we finally got inside, besides the mass of people, I saw a stage with a pink carpet (their version of the red carpet) and the Torrid backdrop. There was also a pink carpet runway leading up to the stage. Michael Anthony, a photographer who also shoots for Torrid, was on stage and would be the one photographing us!

I heard LaKisha Jones (newest Torrid girl, from American Idol) was there, but I didn't get to meet her. I wish I got to meet last year's Model Search winner and American Idol winner Jordin Sparks! Oh, and I heard Kaycee Stroh from High School Musical was at the Orlando search. Wish she had come to ours! David Hasselhoff was in the audience, but I didn't get to meet him. (How weird to think of me strutting my stuff down the runway in front of the Hoff!) I think his daughter Hayley was there and that I got to meet her. (The music was so loud I didn't hear her name, and honestly, I was so excited some things are a blur.)

Inside it was such high energy. Everyone was dancing and singing as they waited. You had to strut your stuff (do your runway walk) down the pink carpet, then go onstage to get photographed by Michael, and then you got photographed with the Polaroid to take your picture home. I had a few butterflies, but I wasn't nearly as nervous as I thought I'd be. I think it was all the energy around me, plus it helped knowing I probably wouldn’t see most of these people again. Everyone seemed really supportive, even though this was supposed to be a competition. I figured it would be much more stringent and more catty. I'm glad I was wrong. When it came for my turn, I just thought of all I'd learned from that long-ago Models and Manners class I'd taken in Montgomery, AL, and from America's Next Top Model. I remember taking a deep breath, then going out there and doing my thing. I actually strutted my stuff! I was totally amazed at how confident I was and am so proud that I got out there and did it! No regrets! I was a bit worried I'd trip either walking down the runway or up to the stage in my heels, but I managed to do fine. I tried to think of model poses for the camera, but by that point I blanked out a bit in the frenzy. Oh, well. I got my Polaroid picture and then met up with my new friend Ebony from in line to go up to the Torrid store. I was surprised at how fast everything went once it was my turn. We went up to the Torrid store for our free makeovers. Then I wandered the store, finally deciding to call it a day.

Looking back on everything, I am So glad I decided to go! I went to an event I never would have gone to before, I didn't get lost and I went alone. I made friends, I was happy and I was confident as well. Everything I felt was so out of the box for me, and I am so proud that I did this and enjoyed it! It was amazing to see so many beautiful, curvy women who were proud of who they were and what they looked like. They gave me confidence to love myself and see that I am beautiful just as I am. I really got a lot of insight into myself and proved I can do things on my own and try new things. I hope my story can bring inspiration to others.

They recently posted the top ten finalists, and I didn't get in. A part of me was really hoping that I would make it, even though I knew my chances were slim. I refuse to let myself get down about this. God has another plan for me. I can be proud of what I accomplished that day. To many, it was just a fun thing to do. I never dreamed all the insights going to this event would give me.